What is Gaslighting?

It is a psychological manipulation tactic that seeks to make a person doubt their perception, memory, or reality. It’s a form of emotional abuse that often occurs in personal relationships, workplaces, or even in societal contexts. The term “gaslighting” originates from the 1938 play and 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she is losing her sanity by dimming the gas lights and denying them when she notices.

How Gaslighting Works

Gaslighting typically starts subtly. The manipulator may begin with small lies or misdirections, often brushing off the victim’s concerns. Over time, they escalate their efforts, providing contradictory information or denying events the victim clearly remembers. The goal is to make the victim feel confused, anxious, and ultimately reliant on the gaslighter for their version of reality.

Signs of Gaslighting

• Denying or twisting the truth – The gaslighter insists that certain events didn’t happen or that you’re misremembering them.
• Blaming and deflecting – The manipulator may accuse you of overreacting, being too sensitive, or imagining things.
• Undermining your confidence – Gaslighters subtly degrade your self-worth, leading you to question your judgment.
• Isolation – They might work to isolate you from friends, family, or other sources of support to increase their control over you.

The Effects of Gaslighting

Over time, It can erode a person’s sense of self and reality. Victims often experience confusion, anxiety, depression, and a loss of self-trust. This can lead to a decreased ability to make decisions and an overall lack of confidence. Relationships built on gaslighting can be extremely damaging and leave lasting emotional scars.

How to Deal with Gaslighting

• Trust your instincts – If something feels wrong, it probably is. Listen to your gut and question contradictory behaviors.
• Seek outside perspectives – Talk to trusted friends or family about your experiences. They can offer clarity and validation.
• Document your experiences – Keeping a journal of events or conversations can help you track what’s happening and recognize patterns.
• Set boundaries – Establish clear boundaries with the gaslighter, and if necessary, distance yourself from the relationship or situation.

It is a serious form of manipulation that can deeply affect the mental and emotional well-being of the victim. It’s important to recognize the signs and take steps to protect yourself from further manipulation.