Email: Info@thrivebeyondtraumacounseling.com
Call: (248) 392- 3733
Are you a Partner
Trying to distinguish between TRUTH & LIES
&
To figure out how to TRUST your Partner Again & HEAL
is Therapeutic Disclosure;
for not only the person that has acted out, but also for
You & Your Relationship;
It gives your partner the opportunity to directly and truthfully share the
They prepare this document while working closely with their therapist;
This is an opportunity for the person who acted out to share a truthful, complete account of acting of behavior since inception — something they prepare with their therapist. It’s important because their partner deserves full transparency to make informed decisions about the relationship moving forward.
It requires commitment, honesty, and active engagement, and is recommended only when both partners are stable and committed to rebuilding the relationship. It should be avoided if either partner is unwell, actively considering divorce, or if there is a risk of abuse. Disclosure should happen when the addict is fully prepared—forced, partial, or staggered disclosures can cause significant harm.
A formal therapeutic disclosure is a crucial part of the recovery process. It involves both partners working with trained therapists to create a structured plan. The partner who acted out shares a full, honest account of their behavior, expresses remorse, and takes full responsibility. The betrayed partner has the chance to ask questions, share their experience, and later read an impact letter. The process concludes with the addict offering an amend letter, outlining boundaries, self-care, and a commitment to change and rebuild trust in the relationship.
The disclosure letter is written in the first person and addressed directly to their spouse. They take full responsibility for the behavior, clearly stating that their acting out behavior was wrong, without blaming the partner or offering excuses. It is honest, transparent, and reflects personal insight and growth. The document includes appropriate details of their major behaviors and inner circle behaviors, not graphic ones—and expresses genuine remorse without pressuring the partner to forgive but allowing them time to process and heal in their own time and way.
While full honesty can’t be guaranteed, disclosure is typically scheduled only after the recovering partner has begun therapy, moved past denial, and is ready to fully disclose. Therapists closely monitor readiness, which varies by individual. At Thrive Beyond Trauma Counseling, we recommend a polygraph to help rebuild trust damaged by past deception or staggered disclosure.
The recovering client’s therapist, the recovering client, the spouse or significant other, and the partner’s therapist. Disclosure usually takes approximately 2-3 hours.
You won’t receive a copy of the disclosure, but your therapist will. It’s recommended that you review it together and ask any clarifying questions during a post-disclosure session.
Given the deception involved in sex addiction, a polygraph by an experienced examiner familiar with Formal Disclosure is highly recommended (though optional) and is typically done right after disclosure. In the same or following session, the addict should share their sex plan or “inner circle” and commit to disclosing any slips within 24–72 hours.
While not guaranteed, combining Formal Disclosure, a polygraph, a shared sex plan, and a commitment to disclose future behaviors creates a strong foundation for repairing the relationship and rebuilding trust.